Dentyne Fire Spicy Cinnamon

Unlike their Arctic Chill "flavor," Spicy Cinnamon is a delightfully chewable gum that will not mess with your brain by giving you visions of fossil fuel-drilling aliens. Typical adult premium gum package with the same not-quite-big-enough piece, but the flava is nice--a not too sweet warm cinnamon that almost tingles like Cinnaburst did, back in the day. A good substitute for Flare in a pinch.

price: $; rating: 3 chomps; other: sugar free

Trident Wild Blueberry Twist

I thought the Denytyne Arctic Ice was bad, but this one has it beat. Trident Wild Blueberry Twist, packed in the economical 18-piece paper and foil short-pack, not only tastes bad but stunk up my Faux-ki-doki with overwhelming fake berry cloying sweetness. Reviews from others ranged from, "I'd rather chew ear wax," to "That gum is evil." Yet another must-to-avoid.

price: $; rating: 0 chomps

Dentyne Ice: Arctic Chill

This Dentyne Ice flavor, packed in the short-end opened box and blister pack, is among the worst gums I've ever chewed. Like all Dentyne Ice gums, one piece is too small, but two is too expensive. But even one piece is too much. It tastes like Vick's Vapo-rub mixed with a vinyl by-product. There was some undertaste that reminded me of the black-oil aliens from X-Files. Avoid at all costs.

price: $; rating: 0 chomps; other: sugar free